The Mothers At Church

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3

#Momgoals, #Momlife rules #Family first. These hashtags and statements like, “you don’t know love until you have become a mother” place a lot of importance on being a mother. Most of the public celebrations for women, revolve around our life events like marriage. I have attended plenty of bridal showers, baby showers, and gender reveals. Have you ever heard of a women having a CFO shower?

At church we do the same thing. Before service in huddle we celebrate pregnancy announcements. During service Pastors conduct baby blessings. No church worth its salt would be without a nursery ministry or kids ministry. Before Covid hit how many churches by you hosted a mom support group or ran M.O.P.S. (Mother of Preschoolers)?

The same can not be said for the experience that women with infertility have. Most married women with infertility have a hard time sharing they are experiencing infertility. The way church administration and other Christians respond only further the discouragement of seeking support and help from your “church family”.

After three years of serving my church in hospitality, admin team, scheduling, community outreach, nursery ministry and than kids ministry I sought support to start a faith based infertility support group. The materials would have been provided by the 501c3 Infertility ministry so the only resources I needed were chairs in a circle, lights left on, and access to the thermostate for heating and cooling. I was told by my pastor that our church didn’t have the resources. In the next breath, the church started a young adult group where they paid for members of that group to have brunch together.

I was only one of two marrried women at the church who was not a mother or grandmother already. It would have helped if it had felt as though the moms stood with me as I advocated for women with infertility. It seemed that mothers at my church were only concerned about helping other mothers.

The bible tells us to “count other more significant than yourselves.” So I ask Christian mothers do you count infertile women more significant than yourselves? Have you asked yourself or the Christian women at your church, what you can do to help them? Have you met with your church pastor and asked what they are doing to support the couple with a failed frozen embryo treatment or the couple who is struggling to afford the adoption fee for domestic infant adoption that serves and helps parents at the church? Change will not happen in our church unless mother’s help push for the change.